BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
> GIRL : Why not ??
> BOY : I'm broke.
> GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
> BOY : What time was it?
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.
> WIFE : Do you remember when you proposed to me I was
> so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
> HUSB : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon?
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?
> GIRL1 : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?
> GIRL2 : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
> Man : You remind me of the sea.
> Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> Man : NO, because you make me sick.
> Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
> Husb : You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and come out of
> Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
> Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
> Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
> Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
> Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and
> consideration to me?
> Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
> Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I'm comfortably
> Lily : So what do you do?
> Sam : I close my eyes.
> Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
> Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last
> Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
> Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
> Man : Why should I pay you so much?
> Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.
> It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned
> the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
> "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
> "That's no offense," replied the judge. "How early were you doing this
> "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir,we serve anyone.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went
into extra time.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstition